the countdown begins

less than 7 days until the big trip. i'm going to target to stock up on things i may or may not need during the 25 days i'll be away. i don't have a list so this will probably not go well and will require a follow-up trip, but it's always fun to browse in target.

i'm pretty much burned out of learning about civil rights history and am not sure that bodes well for a 25-day civil rights journey. to that end, i am taking off the weekend to enjoy some good old fashioned revolutionary war history. okay, not really. i'm not patriotic in the traditional sense so i won't be doing anything anywhere near the mall or interacting with any of the 4 zillion tourists that will be blocking up the streets of fair chocolate city. but, i will be barbecuing and going to the beach like the red blooded american that i am. the problem with doing a day trip to the beach is that in order to get a good spot you have to go so early and stake out a grill and a spot in the sun. it's good that we have 4 people, because otherwise this wouldn't be possible. it's like when you're in the movies and you're trying to save seats, but you only have like 2 jackets and you need to save 8 seats. that almost always ends in an altercation with strangers. that's not necessarily a bad thing because sometimes that's better than the movie you've come to see. speaking of which, when i was in san francisco earlier this month i went to see the stepford wives and robin williams was in my theatre. then me and my friend's roommate stalked him to the parking ticket pay line. the best part about seeing him was that he had on the craziest outfit. it was a good tactic because at first when i saw him i thought, "whoa. look at that crazy guy with the camo-shorts! and the yellow tinted glasses." that was way before the "omigod that's mrs. doubtfire" thing even popped up. anyway, where was i? oh yeah. there was a fight during the movie (ostensibly not involving mr. williams) and the police had to be called. i was unawares of these happenings as i was watching the movie with rapt attention trying to figure out how i could get millions of dollars to make such a sub-par offering to the cinematic canon. anyway, the police apparently subdued the offender sometime before christopher walken's head got blown off. we all got free movie passes. just another example of how an altercation between strangers can ultimately benefit me.

i'm not sure what the point of this post was, but now it's time to go home from work so i'm gonna end it here.

happy birthday, america!

so i don't get any days off for the 4th of july this year. actually, i won't be getting any days off for this holiday as long as i have this job because we will always be leaving the next week for this month-long trip.

let me back up...i just took a new job in may for this race relations program that takes kids around the south and to new york city on a civil rights journey. so, i will be on a bus trip with 24 12th graders for 25 days. doesn't that sound like the most fun you could have? in particular i think the whole being on a bus with smelly teenagers is gonna be a yee-haw good time. secretly, i'm very excited about it. if only i could learn 2 decades of history like the back of my hand in the next 8 days...the problem with this plan is that the 4th of july is thrown into the mix and everyone expects me to socialize...i mean, don't get me wrong, i want to socialize but i am gonna be so stressed about the trip. so, in order to not be stressed about the trip i am going to have to drink a lot, which will then make it harder for me to get my work done the day after and therefore increase my stress 10-fold. an amazing plan, i know.

so there's drama within my extended group of really good friends about whose town everyone should visit this weekend for the festivities and whose significant others can or cannot come due to who has slept with whom on a sofa in my living room once before and who will be uncomfortable and not talk if who is there, etc, etc, etc. it's so brain-numbing that it's hard to even process. i just wanna sit back, get a tan, eat some barbecue, and have a blended drink. is that too much to ask? apparently so. i think this pseudo-drama is a really great way for a group of people to pay tribute to our founding fathers. a holiday that commemorates strife should include some in its observance. i think this is why most holidays include angry family fights. people who don't fight on christmas and thanksgiving are anti-america.

i'm gonna go take a long lunch break now to reward myself for already having about 45 minutes of productivity today. 45 minutes is a pretty good amount of work to do before lunch, wouldn't you agree?

stresssssed

okay so i had a great weekend in that way that weekends are sometimes great: not a thought of work at all. but today i am back here and even more stressed than i was on friday and i didn't think that was possible. basically, i leave for this civil rights journey that i am leading next wednesday and i don't know jack. i am just gonna study as much as i can and then wing it. it's actually sorta making me nostalgic for when i was in school. i was a big fan of the "wing and a prayer" study method. i should write a book. anyway, no time to write, only time to work and stress. more later...

don't get high on your own supply

so last night we had that happy hour i was mentioning. it went alright. people had a great time and there were lots of people there. the weather was nice. BUT, i got really mad at the end of the night and i think i might have effectively ended my friendship with one of my partners. i don't know what my problem is. i get annoyed at things and i don't say anything and then it bottles up and i just fly off the handle. needless to say, this is not the first time this has happened. anyway, it all boiled down to being about the money at the end of the night because i was the only sober person and some of the money (which was being held in wads in different pockets in my friend's skirt) got mixed up. one pocket held the money we were collecting as a door charge and the other pocket held the money she was collecting as part of a fundraiser for an AIDS marathon she's running. anyway, i was annoyed about some other stuff and i just got really angry. i'd describe it as venomous. i'm not like the kind of person who insults you...i'm just super mean. damn. it's pretty sad that i can say that about myself without hesitation.

so yeah, i am attempting to smooth things over regarding my overreaction, even though i think the root reasons i was angry are justifiable. i'm also fairly certain i came across as being pro-AIDS and that's always an unexpected bonus.

i'm so stressed out about this and i don't know what to do...

capes and mullets abound!

so i just came to the realization that the shirt i'm wearing is sort of cape-like in nature. this discovery comes on the heels of last month's discovery that i had a mullet in high school. the latter is pretty much the devastation of my year so far. was i the only one who didn't realize that i had a mullet?

this all goes back to all the baggage i have had about my hair over the years. at first it was fine. i was in a holistic type environment with ex-hippies and their children. then that all went to hell when my mom put me in public school in 3rd grade where the kids were, shall we say "less than holistic." suddenly my dreadlocks were not okay and i made the horrible decision to straighten my hair. actually, the horrible decision was really to go to the hair cuttery to get my hair straightened. man, if i had a time machine...anyway, so all my hair fell out and i had a short natural for a while and i remember this one time i was in pizza hut and i was going to the bathroom and some woman says to me, "that's the GIRLS' room!!" and i just went back to the table and cried into my personal pan pizza (mmm--remember those?) yeah so that was the start of a very sordid relationship with my hair. never one to be a quitter (actually i am quite the quitter), i continued to straighten my hair through 11th grade in high school until finally i exorcised the no-lye relaxer demons. so anyway, the mullet was a result of my hair again falling out due to a relaxer but me being so attached to the part at the bottom that i kept it. good thing i didn't know what a mullet was back then. anyway, now i'm totally an anti-chemicals advocate...put down your dark and lovely! it's not worth it.

'tis all.

thursday?

my friend julia said i should start writing a blog. i'll have to figure out what to put here, but it does seem like a good idea since i spend countless hours at work reading celebrity gossip and trying to find new and interesting internet sites. i will probabyl use thise blog to gripe about things that annoy me and of those there are many. if you're not into that...if that's not your cup of tea, you should probably not read any further. oh. i'll also be using elipses A LOT...they are my favorite punctuation mark and the only one that i use incorrectly.

this is fun. it's like therapy except you don't have to change or work at making yourself better...it's just typing and being amused at my own exploits.

tonight i am hosting a happy hour with my two friends at this club in dc. we just started a promotions company called the non-prophet$. clever, eh? the only problem is that there's this other MC that calls himself that and we're worried he's gonna start a sharks and jets type rumble with us for the rights to the name.

i have to work tonight until late and i am seriously bummed about it. i talked to my boss about it and she said, "i don't wanna sound like a hardass, but you have to come to the meeting." is it just me or are all prefaces like that completely and utterly ridiculous. i mean, obvioulsly you DO wanna sound like a hardass or you wouldn't have mentioned that.

speaking of annoying prefaces, it really annoys me when people feel the need to preface themselves with their affiliation in order to lend legitimacy to the bogus statement that is about to follow. let me give and example: "as a long-time dc resident, i know that marion barry will be good for this city." some of my other favorites are "as a black woman..." and the ultimate one...wait for it..."as a college graduate." that last one really is the worst. i mean...why would you say that. congratufuckinglations. do you wear your cap and gown around at home when you're feeling down?

okay, that's it for now. see, i told you. just griping. tomorrow i'll write something cheery. i promise.